Wednesday, May 09, 2007

post# 12 - let me love again

the table is full of half-empty plates and empty bottles of beer. the
conversation is getting louder and the speech more slurred. the
cigarette smoke drifts in the air, starting to look like clouds just
before a rainstorm.

he sits across from me, laughing along with the rest of us as jen
continues to tell her stupid joke about elephants and refrigerators. we
all know how it's going to end, but we laugh and play along anyway
because we're all getting tipsy; and everything seems so much funnier
when you're in that state of pseudo-drunkenness.

he looks good under the dim lighting of the bar. the shadows make his
cheekbones stand out even more than they usually do. everyone tells me
that we look good together, that we make such a cute couple. i have to
agree. my parents adore him. he treats me well. what more could a girl
ask for, right?

he
laughs a lot more nowadays. he smiles a lot more too. he's gotten that
excited look back in his eyes. just like when we first started dating.

i remember how much wider his smile got when i told him i'd
be his girlfriend. he would tell me the corniest jokes and he'd start
laughing before he even got to the punchline. those we're the some of
the best days we had.

the days before all the quarreling and jealousy issues. i still can't believe he thought that i felt something for jopet. i mean, jopet is jopet.
he's been my friend since forever and well, that's just how it will
always be. i had been so angry that time when i he accused me of
cheating on him withjopet. i felt like i had been slapped silly. he was such a over-zealous prick.

of course, we made up afterwards. that had been the best part. he is such a great kisser after all.

it's
funny though how he's been happier recently. i mean, our fights are
just getting worse - they're getting louder and longer. i don't think
we'll be together for much longer... and yet, he's happier now.

maybe it's the alcohol or the great company? maybe that's why he's happy now.

but who am i kidding? he's smiling now. he's leaning forward, eager to hear what she has to say next. he's ignoring pete,
who's been trying to get his attention for a minutes now. he's just
sitting there, looking at her and waiting for what she'll say next.

jen's
my friend so they're friends too. and friends can get excited over what
the other has to say... but he's looking her with the smile he used to
have when he looked at me. he likes her. i know it.

but i feel nothing. i'm not jealous. i'm not angry. i don't really care.


[short story that just popped into my head... had to write it down... just couldn't help myself.]

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