Thursday, April 19, 2007

post# 7 - self-fashioned and projected

when are we ever who we really are???

i mean, i constantly find myself being very different persons depending on who i'm with. i'm pretty sure you've noticed it about yourself.

this observation has brought we to wonder who i am really... who is ME?

i have defined myself in the following ways:
1. i am a mother-figure.
2. i am a student.
3. i am a daughter.
4. i am an actress.
5. i am a sister.
6. i am an eliazoan.
7. i am everybody's friend.

but can any of these encompass my whole person - me?

it disturbs me to think that no one really knows me. i mean... people see only a portion of my self. but even i can't see me. i have defined myself in such terms but those things are the only parts i see of myself but are not me.

the task of truly knowing one's self is daunting. introspection is a scary thing. what if the self you have fashioned yourself to be and the self you have projected to those you love is nothing near of who you are. what if you are so different from what you've imagined yourself to be and what you've shown others.... that you start to hate yourself and others hate you as well...

i want to know who i am... but i am terrified of finding out the truth of my being...

gawd... i will just continue on living in my fashioned and projected self.

kevin i miss you now... you were the only one who saw me at my worst and best. you hadn't been afraid. you had said you loved me. how i wish things had never changed. but i hate you now.

cheers to self-fashioning and projecting!!!!


ManMan said...

we all in many ways deny others a view of our true selves...actually this act has already mutated into a necessity XD...eniwey >.< yun lang hehe...

Mooshie said...

Do you think everybody feels the same sensation when they scrape their knee? eat fruit? have an orgasm?

How can you be so sure that "sweet" is the same sensation experienced by everyone? is it possible that everybody has different experiences regarding a specific object (say the taste of liver)but use the same descriptions because the definitions of their descriptions, though similiar to yours, relate to a different sensation (i'm not even sure if sensatioon is the right word)?

It could be that:
The human being encompasses everything. No defenition could ever box a person's full identity. everyone can be defined anyway because everyone has the potential to be his/her definition (I'm sleepy...).all because every external individual has his/her own definition of a definition.

You can never convince anybody you are what you think you are.

*very very very bored

maybelle said...

ooh. are you really THAT scary, dark and twisty deep down inside rose? hahaha :b