i had never felt so old until yesterday when i met the latest batch of ajss-ers.
i had spotted a couple of them earlier that night in the caf, they stood out in their "high school uniforms" (meaning: jeans, a t-shirt and rubber shoes). i can only imagine how i had seemed to the upperclassmen when i was an ajss-er myself. my gawd.... that had been nearly two years ago.
i feel so fucking old.
seeing these high school girls in the same place i had been before made me think about the choices i had made in the past years.
i am seriously the most underachieving ajss-er of my batch. i mean, i am undoubtedly the only one in the school of social sciences. everyone else is in SOM or SOSE. they're all planning to be managers, engineers, doctors and whatever other high-paying professional jobs are out there. and here i am... in a course that doesn't show much promise unless i stand out.
and well, standing out is so hard in an university that boasts itself to be the gathering grounds for the best of the very best. and who am i in this hodgepodge of excellence? i am insignificant.
and speaking of insignificance....
is the forward and bold woman truly unrepresented in our society? is being outspoken and confident so uncommon in the women of today? (how cohesive...haha)
you see in my sociology class today, my professor posed this question: "ladies, if you felt strongly enough for a boy and are on the verge of self-combustion due to the continuous suppression your feelings... would you tell him? make the first move?"
i was the ONLY girl in my class to reply in the affirmative. my professot told me i was a minority... so minor that my opinion and preferences would not even register in the larger statistical sample. these words truly disturbed me.
i mean, are woman truly afraid of being bold? of expressing their true feelings? and all becuase of some out-dated (or so i thought) stereotype of women being the meeker and gentler sex.
where has the feminist movement gone? women empowerment, my ass!
women say we're just as strong, just as smart, just as capable - we boast of our equality to men. and yet, we repress what should have been something beautiful and natural because our society dictates that women should wait patiently for the man to court them....
this just seems so stupid to me.